


Mirrors

by Sammy_McCallister



Category: Pitch Perfect (2012)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-04
Updated: 2013-06-04
Packaged: 2017-12-13 23:11:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/829936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammy_McCallister/pseuds/Sammy_McCallister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beca messes up in a major way, but it is just the wake up call she needs to get her life together. Can she do it in time to stop Chloe from moving on or has she lost her completely?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mirrors

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything except the concept.

All year, I've been denying what I feel for her. It's my own fault that I'm about to lose her. Even knowing that, it doesn't make it any easier to let go. It doesn't make it any easier to finally be who I've always been.

That's how I ended up standing here.

At the front door of my father's house, fist raised, paralyzed with these last minute doubts. What if I do all of this and I still lose her? What if I don't and we could've been great? Am I doing this for her or am I doing this so that I can have a shot at not feeling like I'm lying everyday I wake up?

I'm doing this because I'm not afraid anymore. I don't care what he or anyone else has to say. It's my life and I'm going to live it for me. With my resolve strengthened, I knocked on the door.

"Beca." my father said, clearly surprised to see me here.

"Dad. I need to tell you something." I reply as I swift anxiously.

"Alright. Why don't you come in?" he answered as he stepped aside.

With a nod, I walked in and turned to face him as he closed the front door.

"Do you want to go into the living room?" he asked slightly confused.

"No. I have a few other people to talk to before I have something important to do. I'd like you to just listen, afterwards, if you want to say something, you can, but I need you to just let me talk first, okay?" I said, still slightly nervous.

"Sure." he answered with a nod.

"Okay. Here goes. I'm a lesbian." I say without hesitation. I can see the shock on his face, but I continue before he fully recovers. "It's not a phase and it isn't something I'm saying to rebel against you. I've always known and I've been trying to force myself to be otherwise, but I can't do it anymore. I can't not be happy because you'll be disappointed in me again.

"You don't understand me as it is and I know this probably won't help, but I'm about to lose the best thing that's ever happened to me. And for what? Because I'm afraid? Of what?"

At this point I'm mostly talking to myself as I pace in front of him, but he needs to hear it as much as I need to work it out so I continue.

"I've spent my life afraid. Afraid of truly trusting someone because I was afraid they'd leave me without a second thought like you did. I've been afraid of being who I am because the world will judge me like you continue to because you don't believe in what I know I can do. No." I say finally turning to face him, "No more. I refuse to live in anymore self imposed solitude because you screwed up. You didn't care enough to be there for me when you left mom and that wasn't fair to me. I refuse to let what you might think dictate my life when you pick and choose when you want to be apart of it. I love her and even if she doesn't feel the same way, some day, someone else will and I won't push her away because I'm afraid." I pause to look at his face. I can see that he's unsure what to make of all of this, but I don't care. For so long I've kept who I am and what I thought to myself and to finally get it out there is really liberating.

"I don't care what you think or feel about this. I already told mom and she supports me just like Anthony does, if you want to vanish again, I have two loving parents who will still support me. That's all I have to say."

I continued to look at him. He didn't seem to know what to say so I decided it'd be best if I left. I still had things to do before tonight. As I reached the door, he'd moved to where I had previously stood and spoke for the first time since I'd come out to him.

"I don't know what you want me to say." he said in a whisper.

"You don't have to say anything. I'm staying until next year, then I'm going to L.A. I was offered a recording contract after the ICCA's and I took it. Luckily they are fine with me staying another year because I wouldn't be able to compete if I signed now, but I'm going to be working on my music. After next year, you never have to hear from me again." I replied as I opened the door.

He didn't comment further so with a nod, I left.

I had a smile on my face even though I knew that was just one of the hard things I had to do today. I was happy because I was done hiding after today.

I made my way back to campus and headed towards Jesse's dorm room. Standing in front of his door, I knocked. I'd already done this once today so I was definitely more prepared. When he opened, he smiled until he remembered last night. Yeah, this was going to be slightly awkward.

"Hey." I said, "We need to talk." I continued.

Jesse nodded as he stepped aside and spoke, "Yeah, I think we do."

I stood near the door he'd just closed as he went to sit on his bed and began to look at his hands.

"Do you want to tell me what happened last night? Because we've been together for almost a year and I know you wanted to wait, but I thought we were on the same page." he spoke without looking at me.

"We aren't. On the same page, I mean. You want something I can't give you and last night was the hundredth time I've thought that I just can't keep doing this." I said as I look out of the window.

"Why can't you? I don't understand. I mean, I get that you aren't a touchy feely person, at least not with me, but I thought we were going somewhere and then last night, you just completely shut me down."

"I can't because I've been lying to you for the past 10 months. I've been lying to you every time that I let you wrap your arm around me, every time that I've held your hand, every time I smile when you tell me that you could be falling for me, but most of all I lied to you when I kissed you at the ICCA final. When I let you think that I felt for you what you feel for me. I think of you like a brother, which is weird because of the kissing and such, but I'm not attracted to you. Or any guy for that matter."

"You're … Are you telling that you're gay?"

"That's exactly what I'm trying to tell you."

He looked at me with the same shocked expression that my dad did. I knew he could take this really well or really horrible. Honestly, at this point, I didn't care which. I just wanted him to know the truth.

"I need you to leave." came his quiet reply.

"I can do that. I really am sorry for hurting you. I hope you have a good life, Jesse. You truly are one of the good guys." I said before I turned and left.

Two down, one to go, I thought as I walked back to Baker Hall. As I made it into my room, I pulled out my phone to call the one person I knew could help me pull tonight off or completely destroy it.

As the phone rang, I was glad that Kimmy Jin wasn't here to glare at me while I waited.

" _Aubrey Posen._ " she spoke as a greeting.

"Hey, Aubrey. It's Beca."

" _Yes, I know. I have caller I.D., Beca. What can I do for you?_ "

"I need your help."

There was a slight pause before she spoke again.

" _And what exactly can I help you with?_ "

"I need you to ensure that Chloe comes to the practice hall at 7 tonight."

" _Why? We don't have practice scheduled tonight._ "

I sighed and thought about the fact that even though she wasn't captain of the Bellas anymore, the girl still tried to keep an iron fist around us. After her and Chloe graduated last year, they decided to stick around and do their master's at Barden. I would've gotten as far away as possible, but I suppose I'm lucky now.

"Did Chlo tell you what happened yesterday?"

" _No. She came upset before she left for a few hours and came back saying she had a date in a couple days with Chad, the jock that keeps asking her out._ "

My breath caught and I felt a squeeze around my heart. That is exactly what I can't let happen. Taking a deep breath, I spoke again.

"Yes, well I'd like your help in ensuring that didn't happen."

" _Why? Since when do you care who Chloe dates?_ "

My temper flared and snapped slightly.

"Since I've stopped being an idiot and admitted that I love her."

I didn't mean for Aubrey to know that, but oh well. She'd find out eventually.

" _Aca-scue me?!_ "

"Yeah, I know. Anyway, I love her and I screwed up so now I need you to help me fix it. I just need you get her there. I have everything else worked out."

" _What about Jesse? You know, the guy who is currently your boyfriend?"_

"Ex, actually. I've never been attracted to him, just picked him because he was a safe option. Don't need that know because I came out to my parents and I just need you to get her there. Can you do that?"

" _Yes, but if you hurt her again, I will kill you._ "

"Noted. Thank you, Aubrey."

**Three hours later...**

I was super nervous to be doing this. I hadn't spoken Chloe since she told me how she felt and I freaked out, but I can't let her go now without fighting for her. Even if it's a losing battle. So I called up the other Bellas and told them what I was doing. After freaking out and swearing they knew I was a lesbian, they enthusiastically listened and practiced the routine to what is Chloe and my current favorite song.

I was wringing my hands when CR came over to me.

"You gotta calm down, Becs, we all know what's at stake for you and we have your back. You just convince her to give you another shot by doing what we all know you do best. Singing it out."

I smiled and pulled her into a hug. She was shocked, but returned it.

"Thank you, Cynthia."

"No problem. You were there to help with Stacie. I'm gonna help you get your girl."

With that CR left and found her girlfriend chatting happily with Fat Amy and Denise. I was so glad when they got together because I knew CR is exactly what Stacie needed to stop all the sleeping around. I just hoped Chloe and I could be that happy.

Just then, I heard her voice coming towards us.

"Seriously, Brey, what are we doing here? I thought you were taking me dinner. I'm starving."

"Trust me, Chlo, you're going to want to just follow me."

"Ugh! You're lucky I love you, woman."

As she said that, Aubrey moved out of the way and Chloe came face to face with me.

"Yes, I really am and I'm so sorry about last night."

She looked shocked to see me standing there as I commented just as the music started to play. I could tell she instantly knew what song was playing by the small smile playing on her face. She told me that this was the ultimate love song when she first heard it and I knew it was perfect for us, she just didn't know it yet.

So with a deep breath, I began to sing to her,

"Aren't you somethin' to admire

Cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror

And I can't help but notice

You reflect in this heart of mine

If you ever feel alone and

The glare makes me hard to find

Just know that I'm always

Parallel on the other side

Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul

I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go

Just put your hand on the glass

I'm here tryin' to pull you through

You just gotta be strong

I cupped the side of her face as I sung to her and the girls provided back up.

I don't wanna lose you now

I'm lookin' right at the other half of me

The vacancy that sat in my heart

Is a space that now you hold

Show me how to fight for now

And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy

Comin' back into you once I figured it out

You were right here all along

A tear slid from her eye and I wiped it away. She'd tried so hard to tell me that there was nothing wrong with how I felt. Before I even told her, she knew and was there for me.

It's like you're my mirror

My mirror staring back at me

I couldn't get any bigger

With anyone else beside me

And now it's clear as this promise

That we're making

Two reflections into one

Cause it's like you're my mirror

My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

Aren't you somethin', an original

Cause it doesn't seem really as simple

And I can't help but stare, cause

I see truth somewhere in your eyes

I can't ever change without you

You reflect me, I love that about you

And if I could, I

Would look at us all the time

I moved away from her and fell into step with the girls as we sung as one. Chloe was still crying silently, but I hoped they were happy tears. Aubrey had her arms crossed, looking satisfied.

Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul

I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go

Just put your hand on the glass

I'm here tryin' to pull you through

You just gotta be strong

I don't wanna lose you now

I'm lookin' right at the other half of me

The vacancy that sat in my heart

Is a space that now you hold

Show me how to fight for now

And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy

Comin' back into you once I figured it out

You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror

My mirror staring back at me

I couldn't get any bigger

With anyone else beside me

And now it's clear as this promise

That we're making

Two reflections into one

Cause it's like you're my mirror

My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

I walked backed to her and looked directly into her amazing blue eyes as I sung the next part.

Yesterday is history

Tomorrow's a mystery

I can see you lookin' back at me

Keep your eyes on me

Baby, keep your eyes on me

I don't wanna lose you now

I'm lookin' right at the other half of me

The vacancy that sat in my heart

Is a space that now you hold

Show me how to fight for now

And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy

Comin' back into you once I figured it out

You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror

My mirror staring back at me

I couldn't get any bigger

With anyone else beside me

And now it's clear as this promise

That we're making

Two reflections into one

Cause it's like you're my mirror

My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

I wiped the tears from her face as I let the girls take over to just look at her.

You are, you are the love of my life  _[x10]_

I kissed her cheek and began to sing again.

Baby, you're the inspiration for this precious song

And I just wanna see your face light up since you put me on

So now I say goodbye to the old me, it's already gone

And I can't wait wait wait wait wait to get you home

Just to let you know, you are

She kissed my cheek but I kept singing to her.

You are, you are the love of my life  _[x8]_

Girl you're my reflection, all I see is you

My reflection, in everything I do

You're my reflection and all I see is you

My reflection, in everything I do

You are, you are the love of my life  _[x16]_ "

As the music faded out, the girls backed away.

"Chloe Beale, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I'm sorry. So so sorry that I hurt you, but I was scared. I've never met anyone who has connected with me the way you do and I did what I always do, I pushed you away, but no matter how much or how far I try to push you, baby, you're right here." I said as I pointed to my heart and continued, "It's just like the song says, 'You  **are**  the love of my life.' I love you, so much. I am so in love with you. No matter what, you are and always will be the one person I am searching for.

"I know I messed up and I will spend the rest of our lives making it up to you, if you'll have me, because that's what I want when I look at you. A lifetime. A lifetime of your perkiness and your constant desire to touch me even if it's just moving the strands out of my face when I'm working. A lifetime to feel complete when you so much as look at me and a lifetime of your fiery red hair splashed across my chest because you think my boobs are more comfortable than actual pillows."

Everyone laughed and she nodded.

"They are." she said with a smile.

"If you say so, baby. What I'm saying is that I need you like a need a chord progression to keep me sane while I work. You are my music, Chloe Beale. I'm asking you for a lifetime of the one thing I've always loved. I'm asking for a lifetime of what I've spent all my time submerged in my music hoping to find. You. You are the epitome of everything I could have hoped to find outside of my headphones. True love."

There was a pause and I swear it was like no one breathed.

"I can definitely give you that."

When she said that, I felt air rush into my lungs as I let go of the breath I was holding. We just smiled at each other.

"You have no clue how happy you just made me."

"Of course I do, I feel it too."

Again, we just smiled. I was getting lost in her eyes and in the fact that I finally confessed my love for her and that she was finally mine.

"Well kiss her, you idiot."

A voice rudely interrupted. I have no clue who said it or if they were talking to me or her, but we both leaned in and for kissed for the first time, but it definitely wouldn't be the last.

As we broke apart, she smiled and asked,

"Can we go get food now?"

Everyone laughed as I nodded.

"We can do whatever you want, baby."

She grabbed my hand, waved to the girls and pulled me towards the exit talking about food options. I'd never been happier than I was at that moment. I couldn't wait for more times like this. Sure, I knew we'd fight, but as long as I had her at the end of the day, nothing else would matter to me.

_The End_

**Author's Note:**

> Song in this story is Mirrors by Justin Timberlake.


End file.
